Sigh
I had hoped for a white xmas with OML….
Unfortunately everything is not going as expected. My whole Korea project schedule is messed up. Our team has zero morale right now…
So all my plans are also down the drain…
Damn
that woman again!
ARGGHSSSSSSSSSSSS
Labels: tupid things, work shite
Missing...
Geez, time flies...
It's been almost a month since my last update.
Been rather busy. This picture taken from a small park beside my client's office...Looks surreal doesn't it? Like a picture out of a movie....So quiet....so peaceful....I like...:)
Overall the trip was nice. Really tiring....but nice.Korea is almost winter now. I don't exactly enjoy extreme cold weather, but this was a nice change...Loved the food too!
A change of environment was good. Overall the Korean counterparts seemed alot nicer than my SG client...I don't even want to start with the crazy woman...
Well...until my next update! :)
Labels: happy, work shite
I can sleep tonight...
Have had a really crazy week. Haven’t had a good night sleep for a long time.
I was troubled because of
her apparently and very demoralized.
But a lot of things have since been sorted out now so I can only pray that things can carry on smoothly from now. Really…I can only pray…
Amidst all the project timelines and issues solving…I received a call from an ex colleague.
He’s just gotten a new job offer, a manager position in fact, from a global American company. He’s been tasked to recruit an internal pioneer team so he approached me to join him.
At this present juncture that I’m in…it’s a really tough decision. I had just joined this company not long. And although I had to face this shitty client, I felt happier compared to my previous company. But having worked well together before and having the boundless opportunities in this global company, I am tempted, very tempted to join him.
The only barrier? My conscience.
It’s always been a problem for me. I don’t want to leave purely because of the b****h as it speaks a lot about my ability to tackle problems or rather, lack of it. And I don’t want to leave whilst I am only here for barely 3 months. It reflects badly on my resume no? I am not a job hopper. And anyway I like it here so far, there is definitely potential.
Anyway after huge dilemmas and sleepless nights, I made that final decision. I am not gonna join my colleague. I know it’s a risk because I don’t know if I’ll ever get the golden opportunity to join a pioneer team for successive projects in an end user environment, but heck, life’s always full of risks yar?
Am I considered stupid? I leave it to your discretion…but u don’t have to tell me! LOL
Life goes on…I think I can sleep tonight….
Labels: thots, work shite
B***H
I love my job but I hate the client.
Is it communication? Is it the culture? Or is it the environment?
She is extremely unreasonable and extremely childish!
What is the best way to deal with such person? Passive? Proactive? Submissive? Or Aggressive?
I am so at loss….
My current team is very small. Only myself and my PM(Project manager). To be honest, I wasn’t even suppose to be on this project. Their Singapore and Malaysia site had gone live but they still had some issues which caused quite abit of chaos from the previous consultant.
Their next rollout stop is to be Korea, Japan and Thailand. These destinations sound rather tempting don’t u think? It was to me initially, but my boss had wanted me to only settle their issues and assign me to another project.
Ironically, this client requested that I stay for their rollout. It was mixed feelings for me because she is one tough neck to handle.
I don’t mind demanding customers, to me, everyone has the right to be demanding, knowing what u want. But to be unreasonable and childish totally puts me off. And I hate the fact that she loves to threaten us by emphasizing that she is the paying client yada yada..
She thinks she’s shopping in a mall and that we’re all subjected to her requests without any questions asked! Not forgetting that we’re all her slaves just because she’s our client. She easily forgets that we’re all working professionals. If she’s so damn freaking good herself, why don’t she do the whole project herself?
She can’t handle her part of her task but yet blatantly put the entire blame on us. Is she a b***h or what? We are supposed to be in Korea for a demo last week, but cos of her, everything have to be shelved at the very last minute.
And that caused a lot of other shite to surface. I’m pissed because nobody wants to handle her and expects me to do it.
ARGHS!!!!!!!!!!!
Now…even my PM has resigned. Dooms day is so coming for me…
Labels: work shite
Update!
Had abit of a hiatus period lately.
Trying to relocate my focus in life and have been out a lot of things at work too!
Embarked on my new job. A new project assignment. A bitchy client. A company retreat.
This pretty much summarized my hiatus period.
So many things to do so little time. But I am happy still...in a way...
Arrived SG like 2 am this morning and back to work now. So damn blardey tired. The whole Bali trip was overall fun. Not considering really tired and having my body aching due to the incredulous kind of games the hotel pple arranged for us as part of the team building. I’ll try to post a few pictures or so once I settle in yar?
Till then peepz…Takecare!
Labels: happy, work shite
Pissed!
*****Warning: The following post contains some unpleasant vulgarities and extreme foul emotions of the author. Viewers pls read with discretion and caution. Thanks and sorry for any inconveniences caused.******
I am so angry today.
This place is so fucked up that I’m so fucking sure I’m not coming back here anymore. The mgmt sucks, the people sucks, the pay sucks and the job sucks most!
I have never felt better leaving here.
They dun value u as an individual at all. To them, you’re just any resource to them.
The past week has been real shitty. Not forgetting all the crap Mr Lamer has been giving me as well. He doubted my professionalism and tried to take advantage of me, as usual.
I am so mad right now that I can’t even put my emotions into words.
To summarize, I have been bugging for my last day confirmation but no one bothered. So I decided that as long as I finish my work(no more outstandings) and knowledge transfer to Mr Lamer, I should be good to go. So, I planned for a short break. Everything is nicely planned and paid for. Still…no one wanted to respond to me. Anyway I decided to comfirm with HR today and he told me that they have denied me to offset my leave!!!!!!!!!Why? Because they feel Mr Lamer needed more time to get used to things?
*kicks, screams and pulls hair*
I took only 2 days to take over everything from the previous guy!!!!!!!! I dun see why Mr Lamer needs such a looooooong time to get used to things? He’s been doing this with me since end of June till now…why does he need so much more time for?
And if they didn't approve, why did no one inform me? HR said he was busy. WTF?Informing me of my last day is not part of his job?How difficult is it to drop me an email so I can plan things otherwise?Lame pple everywhere!
Am so blardey pissed right now I’m like a seething dragon. I’ve planned for a short holiday since. But u know what? I’m still going ahead with my plans.
They can piss off!
Labels: tupid things, work shite
Feeling good
Last night I did something mean to
Mr Lamer .
He’s been quite an asshole to me since
this and
this.
I’m not going to go into details…but most people around me whom I relate my experience to will cry the word-
sexual harassment.
But the silly lamer somehow “trusts” me for some reasons. He tells me his pay scale here, his next ridiculous asking pay for a new position. I’m in no position to judge but I think Mr Lamer really does see himself too highly in my opinion. He’s trying to ask for an increment of 2k from his current pay…sheesh…he thinks he’s some gem or something? He has the same number of exp as me, although a different module but did almost the same things as me. And he’s asking for a 2k increment? Hahahaha…he never fails to amuse me, in a bad way of course. So either he’s lying abt his current pay…or that people will not even bother to entertain his ridiculous demands…either way…I doubt he’s getting it.
So yesterday night, he called to tell me he’s got an interview with my ex-boss, to my ex-company.
I couldn’t let a jerk be around my old female colleagues so I decided to make a few phonecalls and made sure his true colours is seen before anything can happen.
I feel good today…. :)
Labels: happy, work shite
Did It!
Yes, I have done it.
I have tendered and simply waiting to get out.
But u know what, now that I have resigned, they decided to assign me to do some shitty jobs to clean up a project that is utterly messed up now....
I feel so "appreciated" even more...
I think I made the right choice about leaving I guess...counting down now...
Shite..I dunno how much leave have I left...gotta find out!
Labels: work shite
Respond
For some reasons I’m unable to post the replies to your comments so I decided perhaps I’ll respond here:
Just me: Thanks my dear…the only concern now I have is…what should I tell him?
Imp: Yes, the peepz in my social circles have heard about this company. I’ve done my research too…they ain’t bad, only smaller compared to my current company. Smaller in terms of size and revenue.
My MD did agree to help with my medical claims…although they haven’t been approved yet…
I’m very tempted by this offer…but I dunno if I should be frank to my MD, honestly, I doubt they will counter offer…they r v stingy people. LOL. But even if they did…I don’t know if I will accept either…
A_X:
1: I did some research…they just bought over another company…shldn’t be that bad right?
2. No..he is not a relative…haha..u’re right maybe I shouldn’t bother. But I always have problems “confronting” people who are nice to me…
3. Err…maybe like…they r too desperate? cannot find pple so come back and find me? Haha…I think too much perhaps? :p
Update:
Just been arrowed to conduct a training on a topic I had no experience on...amazing...OML says it's time to quit...cos they only appreciate me when they cannot find anyone else. Because not many people know this topic...they reckon I will be able to perform some miracle...sheesh...I am not a miracle performer...
Labels: work shite
Haiz
Y do I always land myself in such a situation where I loathe myself being a typical Libran who doesn't seem to be able to weigh her scales and make a decision?
I so hate myself being a typical Libran now....
To leave or not to leave..that's the question.
The offer has come back to haunt me. For some reasons they have such great interest in me and raised the offer.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I find myself torn again!
Sigh..I feel really shitty abt this whole thing. My MD has indeed been nice to allow me to work from home since my BP. Shld I be an ingrate and throw the letter now?
But I need to go for projects now for more exposure...no more support! But they can't promise me anything! Honestly I loathe not only my work now, I loathe my co-worker and I dun exactly have a sense of belonging here.
Pros of leaving:
1.Higher pay
2.Immediate projects-potentially to japan and korea
3.More exposure
Cons:
1.Will be leaving a bigger firm to join a smaller firm
2.My MD will hate me
3.I dunno the real reason behind their incessant offer to hire me. I hope it's a positive one...but what is it's not?
Arrghs....I really feel shitty abt this whole deal...I only have one week to consider? Someone help me plsssssssssssssssssssssss!
Labels: thots, work shite
Will I recover?
It's been 3 and a half weeks since that dreadful
discovery.
Good thing is I've had quite abit of improvements since. But yet every morning I wake up and look myself in the mirror, I seem to find myself looking at a stranger. A stranger who looks alot like me yet it's not exactly me...
My lips is still looking weird. I still have a crooked smile...almost as if I've got cleft lip or something...and my eyebrow is still a lil off...
My dad commented something to me today...he said..."You face looks different..."
Sigh...how appropriate...I know he didn't mean it...but I guess he was a tad insensitive...he might as well call me a freak perhaps?
As much as I try to deny sometimes...I cannot help but feel that he is somehow right. I really dun look quite the same as before. I'm just worried that things might never improve...and I'm gonna be stucked like this for the rest of my life...
My right face still looks "lose". It's almost as if I've had botox on the left side of my face and not on my right.
It's depressing...I've tried thinking positively about this....but it still haunts me again and again....
I can't hide from the mirror forever...
Labels: emo, thots, work shite
Emo Elmo
I have a new nick today....
I'm now Emo Elmo.....courtesy of OML.
He reckons I get affected by what others do or say too personally.
I totally agree....I'm letting Mr Lamer really get the better of me. I couldn't sleep the whole of last night cos of his stupid work ethnics.
I shall not let him get into the way of my recovery.
I.Must.Resist.
Labels: emo, work shite
Rd to recovery....
First of all...
A big thank you to those who have been so encouraging throughout this Bell's Palsy incident. Thanks for all your care and concern throughout. *huge hug*
I'm happy to announce things are slowly picking up...
1)I can close my eyes to sleep now without taping it
2)I can chew abit more
3)I can attempt a weak smile now :)
Although my cheeks are still a lil heavy and I can't raise my brow still...but the doc was happy to see my improvements thus far...
Weird as it may seem, I should be getting all happy about my recovery, but perhaps with some turn of events, I found myself feeling depressed again.
*shrugs* Too much of a thinker I suppose...
I just feel like staying in a corner and hide myself up....away from everything!
Labels: emo, work shite
Things people say...
I think I'm very affected by this new guy helping me out...
Mr Lamer been only getting to office like 10-ish and even 11am on one occassion. Our official working hours are 8.30am till 6pm.
I have my own set of rules when it comes to work and responsibility. I have never been late in my entire job history. I always believe in working efficiently, effectively, on time and on target. Which simply means if I can finish my work on time, I do it. If I don't have to work OT, I try not to. So, I never believe in coming late to work and going home late because I simply didn't have enough time to finish my work.
I don't want to judge how Mr Lamer works. Firstly I'm not his boss and he doesn't report to me. Secondly, he is clearly an adult who can jolly well decide his own work attitude.
But I am peeved when he said this to me today...
"Hey, can u try to cover me from 8.30am till abt 9.30am?" "I need to take abt an hour to travel to work....."Seriously, I was slightly peeved. Cover him? If he's supposed to be working from 8.30am means he has to make arrangements to leave his house earlier? What kind of excuse is that for coming late?
Sheesh...
Although I'm supposed to be recovering at home and working from home, I'm ought to cover u? And I thought u were suppose to cover me while I concentrate on my recovery?
Maybe I should start sleeping in till abt 9 or 10 now instead of waking up the same time still....I do have a better excuse than him?
Darn...the things people say....
Labels: farnie shite, tupid things, work shite
Pain
Today's accupunture session was painful. I teared.
Dunno if it's cos OML is not here with me today or that needle was much longer today.
The doc was impressed I didn't cry out, cos she said to me " Wah, you're very brave, I would have cried out."
I found her statement funny because I thot such statements were usually for kids, u know to encourage them and make them feel better. It's feels a little funny to hear her saying these things to me...a lady in her mid-twenties.
But what she didn't know...I teared when she left...it was really painful today. In fact they have become more painful with each session. I wonder if that's a good thing.
Sigh...there's still 5 more sessions to go the least...
Why must shite always happen to me?
Labels: emo, thots, work shite
First Impression
Busy day today...didn't get to rest at all today.
Had to return to office this morning because there's a new guy who will be taking over my duties before I leave for projects.
My MD was kind enough to assign him to me earlier so that he can share some of my workload while I concentrate on recovering.
Anyway this new guy didn't exactly leave a good impression on me. This was part of our conversation yesterday when I told him where I'm seated and that we'll meet there today for our discussion.....
New guy: yes....i know where u sit...
New guy: it is indeed cold
New guy: u shouldnt have sit there
New guy: someone died there before
Me: huh?
Me: what do u mean someone died there before?
New guy: hehhe
New guy: u wanna know the history?
Me: u serious ornot?
New guy: u watch sixth sense?
Me: yar..
New guy: when it is cold....means got the presence of ghost
Me: ......
And as our conversation goes....New guy: u malaysian or sporean?
Me: singaporean
New guy: i am african
Me: huh?but your name is chinese?
New guy: recently, there is a trend among spore women, they prefer black people...the hip hop people....so i turned black....lol
With that...I conclude that my "successor" has officially been labelled as a LAMER.
For first impression's sake, he was late for 2 hours. I told him to meet at 8.30am and when I called him at 9.30am, he said he's forgotten about it and is on his way. He arrived later at 10.30am, which left 1 hour for our discussion because I had to go for my accupunture.
I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but I think he totally screwed it. First impressions counts...too bad...he's now Mr LAMER.
Labels: farnie shite, work shite
Update 2
It is times like these when I know I need comfort, care and concern and that support to pull through this.....
Instead, my parents havent been really supportive of the whole episode. Why? I think it's because they take my independence too much for granted that they expect me to handle everything myself.
The truth is, I'm kinda disappointed. Disappointed in the way they look at things in my perspective.
When I had felt something amiss last wednesday, they sorta dismissed it. Only when OML saw me he realised that perhaps a doctor's attention is needed. I didn't quite think of anything myself initially was because of my parents. The fact that they didn't see the severity of it.
Anyway, if not for OML, perhaps my face would have been alot serious? And he was the one who persuaded me to go for accupunture. Even his parents showed more concern towards me than mine. I must say that somehow, I'm disappointed by how my parents took this whole episode. If something like that happened to my brother, I'm sure they would have sought for the best doctors or specialist even? But for me, I'm supposed to do it all by myself, even when I'm the one who is supposed to be feeling all down and traumatized by what's happening. I don't mean to doubt their love for me, but I think they take my independence too much for granted.
OML has been the one by my side all these while, trying to accompany me to the accupunture sessions which I dun exactly look forward to. If he hadn't been there, I don't know if I could persist on. My parents havent even gone on one session with me even to the doctor and they still have the cheek to come nag me abt this. Telling me I shouldn't be bathing when I come home late at night blar blar and then sleeping in the air con because this is what happened etc etc.
I seriously don't need all these right now. I'm already saddened so much by this whole Bell's Palsy thing and yet they cannot be more sensitive to what I'm going through? I look like a freak for god's sake now! What else do they want from me? What comfort can they give me?
I just needed to get all these off my chest. It really hurts. The only solitude of comfort I can find now is OML. I think he is the only one who understands what I am going through right now.
He won't be able to accompany me for the next few accupunture sessions because he has a job to keep...he can't do this for me everyday....I do understand.
I just have to be strong for now I suppose...not for anyone else but for him and myself.
Road to recovery will not be easy...I'll need to have a lil more faith....
Labels: emo, tupid things, work shite
Update
Thank you to all that have shown their concerns to me.
Unfortunately I'm still unable to move my right face.
Been feeling total crap these days...feel absolutely like a freak.
Tried out accupunture last Sat. It was scary having needles arnd my faces and my hands.
Not only had I have needles sticking out of my face, they had electric current go through them too. It was a really really weird feeling....
After which the physician even tried to put some herbs on the needles and sorta burn them through into my skin. I don't know how exactly it was done because for one, I had my eyes closed and two, it was out of my vision. All I could feel is a heat rush into the back of my face and smell of burning matchsticks.
It wasn't a good experience at all but I don't think I had a choice. I'm going for my second session today this afternoon. The physician did say I will not see any results so soon. It takes abt 10 sessions or so to recover? I can only hope.
I have spoken to my MD this morning and he has graciously allowed me to work from home till I fully recover. I had only expected working from home for a week. Well, we'll see what's the status of my recovery I suppose....
As much as I tried to look at this positively....I dread waking up every morning to see the same freak face. And still not being able to move much even till today. Feeling depressed about the whole thing. Never understand why this has to happen to me. Mostly I'm concerned if I will suffer any side effects after? Studies have shown that some percentage of the people do even after recovery.
I really can't do much except pray that this whole episode will end soon with a full recovery.
Just so that you're aware,
1. Never sit too close the air conditioner till u can feel the air blowing.
2.Should u have an flu, always be careful to takecare and never let it go untreated. Flu can also cause Bell's Palsy should u aggrevate it causing inflammation.
Whatever it is, you should always takecare of yourself constantly! And I mean CONSTANTLY! Never take your health for granted!
Labels: emo, tupid things, work shite
^&%$!@#!$*@&#
I'm sorry but I couldn't find a better title today.
The right side of my face is temporarily paralysed. The right term here could be Bell's Palsy if my research is done correctly.
Totally feel like shit and looking like a freak! The doc said it could be cold air that is constantly blowing on my face that could have resulted in this.
Not even a year I have been working in this office and I've had like 2 totally unusual illness so far...
Okay..maybe is not the right word here...but at least unusual to me. I mean..What are the odds?!!!!????
The ear infection thingy which caused the imbalance in my ears was a result of my flu not recovering well. I couldn't recover because the moment I stepped into the office, my nose get clogged up again.
And now...the freaking cold air cold blowing on my face resulted in Bell's palsy! I simply cannot believe my luck in this.
Either the fengshui isn't too good at my spot or it's a sign that perhaps this is not the right job for me.
I'm feeling totally crappy abt it but yet I can't do much expect pray I can get better. Otherwise the doc did say acupunture is the next solution but I just dun like the idea of needles sticking in my face.
ARRGGHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Labels: emo, tupid things, work shite
Choice
I have made either a smartest or stupidest decision today.
I have decided to stay put in my current company.
I was in a dilemma awhile back because of what I'm doing right now. Clearing "shite" on a daily basis.
So, I went ahead and went on selective interviews few months back. There was this one that I was considering but their interview cycle took a loooonnng time until I didn't think I made it.
An sms came in last week to offer me a really attractive package with this company.
I was impressed and at the same time knocking myself on the head.
Reason?
As I mentioned
here about my current predicament, I had sorta promised my MD that I will be staying till end of this assignment to see what the company has in store for me.
So having this sms come at this time really sets a big dilemma upon me. I even had sleepless these days. If I hadn't promised anything, I would have said yes to this position immediately!But...there's always a but.
And being a typical typical libran....it's just so difficult for me to weigh the pros and cons!
Y must I be a blardey LIBRAN?Dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!*pulls hairs and screams*
Anyways..*ahem, regaining my composure*, it was a tough choice but I made it.
I made a promise and I'm going to keep it because it speaks alot abt my integrity and my character. At least until July when this assignment ends. If I still don't see anything "productive" coming my way...I will scoot.
The offer is really attractive you know...sigh....
I pray it is a smart choice.
Labels: emo, work shite
