Shattered
Feeling absolutely shattered right now.
I had an phone interview today after work.....How did it go? Absolutely disastrous!
Why?
Here's the story...
It was a technical interview scheduled to be around lunch time. However, the call did not arrive and was rescheduled to be around six instead.
So the call came 10 minutes after 6. I suppose it was the technical manager. He sounded really professional, too professional for my liking really.
Anyway he threw a few questions at me regarding my work. Eg, what I do exactly, what was the experience like as well as a few technical questions. I don't know if its me, but I thought the questions he asked were rather specific, too specific in fact. It's as if I'm being put through an exam that I was never prepared for.
You see, my industry is one where knowledge is so vast that there's no one person who could know it all even after 10 years of experience in it. So here is this technical guy trying to be all critical about my knowledge, when I only had 1 and a half years of experience.
There’s a difference between knowing what to do and memorizing what you do. I’m the kind who knows what to do but don’t remember how to get there. You see I’m a very visual person. I remember what I see…maybe even to the extend of having photographic memory sometimes. So if I see something and registers it into my head, there’s 99% that I’m right, but if I don’t…then there’s just no way you can get anything out of me.
So that’s what happened today, the things he asked were so specifc and so drilled down that I couldn’t understand what was he trying to get out of me? I guess I flustered when I realized I wasn’t really “performing”. It got me real bad when he tried to add in some finance terms. I was totally lost cos I never quite understand finance terms in general. I guess that was it for him, he started going into how being a consultant u need to know this, u need to know that blar blar…so that u can cope with customers queries. I was totally switched off by then, because all I could think of was…”When will this interview ever end?”
That was it really. My ego was bruised. I felt he was being rather harsh to me for a noob. But then again, this is how I feel…he probably thought otherwise…
The funny thing about this whole experience, I didn’t even apply for this job. And what do I get? Crushed pride and zilch morale! How fair is life?
Work
Yawnz….
It’s been a looooooooong ten days since my last entry.
Many things have happened since….
Work has been easing, but getting really routine. We’ve had a few new colleagues lately, unfortunately all foreigners…again.
I’m like the only Chinese speaking around now. *haiz*
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t welcome these foreigners, it’s just that it’s sad that I’m working in Singapore yet I have foreigners surrounding me! Maybe I should really move on to Aussie?
Lately I haven’t been able to focus much on work. Seems that everything I do are kinda routine now. I just don’t seem to feel the drive anymore. Is it because I’m exhausted or that I’m getting tired of my job?
I’ve had a few calls from recruitment agents recently, seems that the job market is really picking up. Perhaps somewhere deep inside me, I’m kinda looking to leave my current comfy zone. Yet on the other hand, I somewhat feel indebt to my boss. Although I haven’t worked long, but she’s one of the best bosses I’ve worked with so far…she has been really nice to everyone yet very professional. It’s not easy to work with a boss like that. But….(there’s always a but) I feel that my growth here seem to be stagnanting. Coming in as a junior has given me many opportunities to learn new things, meet new people and room to make mistakes. But a junior can only be a junior for so long, I grew, learnt and matured, so now I want to do more things and try more things. However the junior mentality is so fixated on me that I find it so hard to break through. As much as I enjoy my time here, there must be a time limit for me to cry “Stop!” I need to break free and take on something more challenging!
Postponed!
The Vietnam project has been postponed due to the delay with our upgrade.
That’s why we’ve been working so hard these days.
I’m happy because least I can spend my bdae here with my family. Not happy cos the upgrade is really causing chaos to my life right now and I’m really wearing thin….
Imagine after upgrade it’s viet project and after it’s another round of external projects again……*arghs* I don’t want to even think about it right now…
Never ending story I suppose…I want my life back please....
Needing a saviour...
Can’t believe I’m working whole day today….again…
Tired, drained and absolutely brain dead….
Still…have to persevere on!
I need a saviour….
*bummed*
Decisions Decisions
The job market seemed to be pretty active lately….
I’ve been receiving calls from agents locally and from Aussie.
I scored myself to an interview to a big Japan MNC in Singapore. I would say that the interview went well, but the location is a tad too far for my preference. But in terms of opportunities and exposures, I think that company would be able to cater a lot.
I also scored an interview to a big automotive company in Aussie. This position is so coincidently stationed in Brissie. Place of sunshine! =)
I did well for this interview too. In fact, they have offered me a position. However, the position was somewhat not what we discussed initially. The feedback was that they needed someone of more seniority so as to manage the team. I was, according to them, a tad too young for this position.
The agent told me that they liked me a lot and would love to get me into the team. So, they suggested another position, a more helpdesk bound sort of support.
According to them, there was this guy that they didn’t like and they would like me to replace him. That is when he will leave, probably in about 6 months time.
The pay package is much much smaller that what was offered to the previous role. Surviving in Aussie will not be easy…..
If I stay, I probably can get a better package and more opps, but I will miss my chance of ever going back Aussie again and would probably waste my PR too?
I’m in such dilemma now.
Should I stay or should I go?
