Reminiscing....
I have been trying desperately to blog lately. But time is just not on my side. The moment I stepped into office on Tuesday, work simply poured in like African ants during an invasion. Bad analogy I know…but can’t help it. I’m darned tired to think of anything right now. I’m simply writing down whatever that pops into my head! I saw an ant…so thus the analogy!
Anyway before I go into details of my excruciating ah neh colleague again, I shall try to recall my birthday break and share some snippets of my short but enriching birthday break.
So, I met Daz on my birthday eve and had a really nice cosy chat with him. It’s been quite awhile since I had the opportunity to really sit down and chat with him. We hardly meet up due to individual commitments. Anyway Daz is a great pal. He’s always been a great friend of mine since like…erhmm…7, 8 years? Ya…it’s actually been that long! I’m so old…*sobz*
Well, he was nice enough to “sponser” me to a shopping spree at one of a shop in Bugis that I’ve always fancied but never really dared to try anything due to the price. Well, the salesgirl that was so enthusiastic, kept pushing clothes for me to try. I was abit skeptical in the beginning looking at the price and all. But in the end, I succumb to temptations and bought a top, a skirt and a jacket! Yup! If they had some sort of a membership qualification scheme, I am sure I would have become an immediate member then! So..hehee…u can roughly guess how much I spent! Daz sponsored part of the cost while I took the bulk of it as a form or bdae pressie for myself. It’s been awhile since I indulged myself in a shopping spree. I felt so pampered then. Nobody has really done that for me….I mean bringing me to my “fave” shop and simply…”Go get somethingyou’re your bdae pressie…” hmm…yar..come to think of it…not even my old man lee. =p haha. Anyway it was a really nice gesture. Thanks to Da! =D
Okay…next in line is my old man lee…he got me a swatch watch and delivered flowers to my house like 9 plus ten like that in the morning. I remembered I was like still in my dreamy face when I open up the door to the delivery man. Kinda embarrassing I guess, my hair was all messed up and I was still in my PJs. Sheesshh….but nonetheless, the flowers were beautiful! A definite perk to my day and a sweet start to my bdae morning!
Nothing too happening during the day, had a nice ramen lunch, went for a movie and eventually settled down for a jap sushi and bbq dinner with my family.
Then it was preparation for the bbq at pasir ris chalet that my old man lee was helping me organize. Nothing too fancy, my family, a couple of his frens and some exclusive invites to my closer frens. Been awhile since I have such a gathering. It was nice, not too crowded. The gers got me a bdae cake and I shared the cake with a gf of mine too…yes..our birthdays were a day apart. Hee…Even old man lee’s frens got me a small gift, it was sweet of them too.
Well, I took a day off work and it felt good not having to work on a Monday. Went swimming, sun-tanning, went car racing with old man lee and his pal. Then it was a nice dinner and movies! Yay!! I really enjoyed myself that day…=) Nice break before the project starts really. Let me get some breather before going full time to project schedules again…sigh…
Oh oh, we caught “The Myth”. Typical Jackie Chan movie, the usual hero, love story, fighting scenes, half naked woman…blar blar….okay…not really half naked but there was this scene where this Korean female lead kinda took her layers of clothes so that she can “thaw” and warm up the frozen Jackie Chan…..*rolls eyes* Was that scene even necessary? Hmm…den again..maybe it’s just me..I’m biased. Ha! =p
Back to reality again I suppose….been so extremely busy lately that I have simply no time to do anything else other den work. Today I’m blogging because one of the server crashed and they are taking time to backup and re-install everything. This also means that I will be working through the nite on a Friday nite….yes…Friday nite! No life rite? No choice, server suppose to be delivered todae but cos of the “crash” it has to be delayed to tomm. Else project starts Monday and it will be disastrous if all is not ready by then. *sobz* what a way to start my weekend man! Sigh! =(
=)
Just thou I'd drop an entry on my birthday.
Happy Birthday to myself! =)
Hee...
Frustrations
You ever feeling like the whole world is against you and yet u can’t do nothing about it?
Right now, my sentiments are exact.
My past few days were ridiculous! From loading of more “out of scope” work to being bullied by the same ah neh that I mentioned in my past blog! He was being totally bossy and mean! I’m not going into too much details on my blog here, I don’t want to be labeled as some racist of any sort. Ask me if you’re curious and I’ll GLADLY bring you through all the crap he put me through and all mean things he said.
I’m feeling so deadbeat every single day, I feel as if my brain’s all meshed up and you can eat it off a spoon. Gross but it’s true…How I wish I can go for a vacation now. But…there’s always a but!
This is actually the third draft of my blog. Somehow, things are just not coming out. Even if they did, they seemed rather “misplaced”. Like they weren’t exactly my thoughts….
Anyway, managed to catch Cinderalla Man over the weekend. Wow…it’s a great show! Very inspiring. Being an emotional rollercoaster myself, there were a couple of scenes where I thought my tears were dwelling up, but heehee…I didn’t let my tear duct do the talking. I curbed that thought and survived the entire show tearless!!!!(yay!!! It’s an achievement ok? =p)
It’s actually been awhile since I’ve caught movies which made me all emotional and teary, I think the last one was…..err….hmm…I cant’ even remember THAT last show. *grin*
Anywayz, I was really impressed by men of that era. It’s like...wow!! Where do u still find men like that nowadays? Not that I’m trying to be a wet blanket and subject all men to prejudice, but it’s just so hard to find a man who is so devoted to his entire family now. ( except my daddy of course! =D )
Maybe it’s because times have changed and that education played a big role in structuring new mindsets. People no longer treat responsibilities with such strong vigor anymore. It’s almost as if wanting to be responsible and actually being responsible is a whole new different thing.
Take a simple example, Boy impregnants girl, girl wants to get married, boy feels he should marry her but he decides that there are too many issues that somehow leads him to believe that dumping girl is the best option. So in the end, boy dumps girl and girl being dumped and all decides to abort the child.
So tell me, in this scenario, whose responsibility was it to decide if the child deserve to live ornot. And when both party decided that responsibility was too great a sacrifice for them to act on, a child’s life was deprived. But who was ultimately responsible? Was it the boy? Or was it the girl?
I’d tell u that in the olden days, people would definitely point a finger at the boy and demand he marry her and everything else is just hushed down and forgotten. But now, in this civilized society, with better and more education, it is ironically the opposite. With the man vs women equality idea, men don’t think they are responsible for all their actions anymore. They think women should play a part and “share” this responsibility, resulting in a clash of responsibilities. So if both sides feels that responsibility is subjective, an innocent child’s life is sacrificed. How humane does this make us now in the society we live in? Should we ever be ashamed of ourselves and reflect on our humanity?
The problem now is that we view responsibility as a choice, a choice to be responsible or to wanting to be responsible.
In the olden days, responsibility was never a choice. It was a men’s duty to be responsible.
Perhaps in some ways, equality isn’t the best way to work things out? You decide….
Just Blar........s
It’s another Friday again. Somehow I feel lighter today. I was in such an extreme crappy mood yesterday. It was like the whole world offended me or something. But then again, it’s just PMS. It’s irritating how hormonal changes in your body can change your entire perspective of the world? It’s as if you have no more control over your life and PMS seems to take over and rule. So theoretically speaking, when a women is going through PMS, you are welcome to ignore her insensitivity but pls DO NOT , I repeat Do NOT ignore her! It will have deleterious consequences! Try to be extremely nice and shower her with lotsa TLC and listen to whatever she has to say (even if you think they are rubbish and groundless accusations) and try to show genuine attention and show you care. That way, she will not have the tendency to throw any forms of tantrums. In any way, prevention is always better than cure right? =)
In a way, I’m glad I’m not a male who needs to handle his PMSing gf every month, but yet again, it sucks being the gf who has to go through the whole shitty PMS cycle over and over again, every month and every year of her life till she reaches her menopause.
Morale of the story, it’s not easy being a male nor a female.
Life’s never a breeze!
Enjoy your weekend!=p
Crappy Stuffs
Freaking tiring week! I’m really frustrated with the shit I have to put up with and the frustrations I have towards work! I’ve been having too much headaches, too little sleep and definitely no fun! It’s been so exhausting all entire week that I feel so extremely drained! I feel listless, no energy, no motivation, and simply no morale!
Everything seems to be going all wrong this week. I simply couldn’t understand the rationale of it all happening all in a week!
I’ve been telling R lately that one should always sow good karma to reap the good return that comes in various different forms. Unfortunately I haven’t been too lucky lately and I’ve been wondering if it’s got something to do with my karma efforts. Whatever that I’ve been doing, I keep hitting on road-blocks.! Arrghhs!!!
The truth is I haven’t been doing much lately except work, I don’t even have enough energy to plan if I wanted to do anything special for my birthday. It even came to a point where I am not even looking forward to my birthday. I’m actually not at all excited about it. In fact, I’m dreading it. Because soon after my birthday, the project will be starting the very next week! I’m so not looking forward to it! =(
Anyway birthdays seem less and less colorful as you grow older. And not to mention the birthday greetings and the birthday pressies.
I must admit guiltily that I do enjoy birthday pressies and birthday surprises, especially when they come from special people. Haha…I sound like a kid who yearns for birthday parties, birthday pressies and birthday surprises. I guess the truth is that as a kid, I was kinda deprived. I didn’t hold much birthday parties as a kid nor did I celebrate in any lavish form. I remembered how I used to envy my cousins celebrating birthdays at fast food outlets like McDonalds or Burger King. I never really gotten such birthday parties before! Unfortunately I’m too old now…Ha!
The only time I felt really special was actually my 18th birthday when I parents actually took the liberty to book a chalet for me, arranged a buffet for all my friends, a big birthday cake and even served cold beer cocktail…when some of my frens weren’t even 18 yet! But heck…I truly enjoyed myself then! It was like…wow…it’s MY special day sort of feeling. My previous birthdays were like…no happening, nothing special or whatsoever, it was just boring! I didn’t even celebrated my 21st birthday in Singapore!
Anyway I’m feeling real pissy lately. I’ve been loaded so much things and expected to do so much yet taught so little! Looking on the bright side, either these people think I’m a genius or that they simply don’t care and expect me to try and stay alive in the deep blue sea myself! I’ve really had to about here!
Where’s the exit?*sobz*
Random rants
I meant to update my blog for the past few days. But I was really so stressed out and so packed up with work I didn’t even had time to blog.
I was sick throughout the entire last week! It was pure agony trying to sit through BW training with a running nose that simply won’t stop and a fever that comes and goes pretty much as it wishes. It was really difficult and yet because of the training, I couldn’t afford to skip a day off work to rest. It was really suck a bummer! Work really sucks to this point! Luckily I pulled it through and managed to recover through the weekend!
I’ve since discovered how important rest was, especially when you are sick!
BW training was difficult because firstly, as far as I don’t wish to be mean, my colleague/trainer pretty much couldn’t make it to the bar as a trainer. He was too fast, very little explanation and simply doesn’t have too much patience to make a trainer or not even to say a mentor.
This wasn’t exactly the first time I sat through his training, the first time round was my first 2 weeks here and I was totally lost the entire time! And I thought it was because I was such a noob then that I couldn’t really catch what he was trying to teach. It was a lot of bits and pieces really!
But now, having been here like 9 mths or so, I thought it would be better. But alas! I couldn’t catch him again. Everything was in bits and pieces running everywhere!
Sigh.Sometimes I wonder why is my company so cheap skate! An actual BW training spans over 2 weeks, and even 2 weeks is not necessarily enough. But now, my company wants to cram everything to only 4 days!!! Yup, you’ve read me right. 4 freaking days!!! We probably are gifted geniuses to them!!!! And yet...people like me are like paid peanuts…oops…no wait..peanuts doesn’t sound right here…a peanut’s worth 60K now…I’d be extremely happy if I were to be paid just 1 peanut! Muahahahahaha….
Ahem! I should rephrase….people like me who are paid…say…corn! Yes…CORN! Yup…new term..paid corn and you get chickens?????Hahahahaha…corny huh???Kekekekeke…hahahahaha…I’m lame! Can’t help it, I need to lighten myself for Mondays.
Mondays…I do dread them now…..=(
I was going to blog Sunday actually, but I didn’t manage to because I just didn’t have the mood nor the energy.
I suppose I had a good rest nonetheless…..I hope….. at least it will keep me going for another week?
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Lunch hour is over. I normally look forward to this period because it means that half working day is gone! Which is good because it means I have got another 4 more hours before I head home. Yippeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Tomorrow is my daddy’s birthday! I got him a tv set during the weekend! He’s been hunting one for awhile ever since the previous one kinda “exploded” on him…and that tv was supposedly mine…lol…after the one in his room went haywire. I hope he likes his new tv set! =)
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Crap! I’m being assigned to do crap ass job again. All those tedious, meticulous, eye wearing jobs…It’s always me!
Why? Because I’m the noobest arnd and paid corns! So why not make full use of her! Anything that you find tedious and tiring to do…my name will always automatically pop out!
How nice to remember me this way…
Sometimes why I’m being exploited this way. Is it cos I’m too nice and accepts any shit that comes my way with a smile? Maybe I should start being mean for once. But you know what…that’s the BEAST of it all! I can’t refuse anything that comes my way….Because…I will stress again…I’m the noobest around and I’m suppose to do anything that I’m being asked to! Yes…you’ve heard me right…I have got NO, zero, zilch, nothing, zip, zot, none, naught options at all!!!!!
And I’m blardy sick of all these shit!!!!!! *wails loudly*
I don’t want to be a noob anymore, I want to learn more in the least amount of time and stop all these exploitation shit! I’ve so had enuff to the brim!
But in order to learn more, I need more cash to go for courses, how so should I do it?
And I think I’ve only got 5 options:
1) Take up another part time
2) Simply throw in all my money now
3) Find a sponser
4) Find a sugar daddy
5) None of the above and continue to all shit!
Sigh…I think all the 4 options are rather out of reach considering I have no extra time for part time, all my cash add up is still not enough for the blardy SAP full course. Finding a sponser? I doubt even my parents can help now. Sugar daddy? I simply have no life now…where got opportunity to find a suitable sugar daddy? So you see….5 is my only option…. *sobz*
What better ways to start track your career….motivating oneself to move out of one pile of shit, but maybe to reach to another pile of shit?
Bummer!
Life’s never a breeze!
Viola!
First of all….I felt rather stupid when I realized that I had NOT noticed that my blog’s design has been extremely off lately.
*sigh* I do wonder what my eyes were for…and not to mention I was supposed to be THE meticulous and observant sort…apparently I was wrong. Surprisingly wrong! Either that or I have been seriously so busy that I simply did not notice the differences.
Now, I made the discovery on Tuesday actually. When I was off work the entire day due to a flu bug that is still persistent until today.(That aside- I’m blogging with two tissue papers stuck up my nose because I simply couldn’t stand the disgusting ever-flowing mucous running down every 3 seconds! SO blardy irritatin!). So I was going through my blog and was wondering where exactly did my date header go in my blog. Because I vaguely remember that it was there before, so I went through some other frens’ blog and somehow compared the html coding.
(Pls be mindful that I’m no web guru, I’m actually quite web hopeless…was never really good with websites and stuffs…to think I almost wanted to take up eCommerce then!*roll eyes*) Anyhow, I saw that there was nothing wrong with my coding, well at least I thought so.So I went hunting for the original url that I took the design template from….and guess what!
The original designer of this template and many others, decided to
stop hosting all the related pics and stuffs and were asking people who were using his templates to download all the related files and host them on some free web hosting site.
And the “interesting” part of it all…he announced that he was going to take off all the pics and links from 1st August!
*rolls eyes again* It took me more than 1 month to notice the difference!!!!1 month and 6 days to be exact! Sup Bummer!
Ha ha…and not forgetting the fact that no one really informed me of any sort!
Conclusion? I reckon that seriously, no one reads my blog! *rofl*
Either that or they are blur sotongs just like me!!! *big grin* =D
Anyway luckily I managed to actually find time that day to get everything back together. Found a suitable free web host and placed all images up again. And so….
Viola..there you have…my pinkie blog is back again. Teehee…
Will blog more once I get this blardy nose of mine to stop running! *wails*
I need rest! *sobz*
Monday?
I’ve not exactly been dreading Monday for quite awhile already. For some reasons, the dreading feeling is creeping back undoubtedly.
I’m not exactly sure why but I felt it’s probably I’ve lost the zest in my work for now. Because like I’ve always been ranting about, I feel extremely exploited now because of all the various work that has been assigned to me which falls out of my job scope.
I know I have been complaining and ranting non stop about these issues. I simply can’t help it because I’m really really sick of all these shit! Why? Why does the working world have to suck so much? I don’t mind having more responsibilities to my work but I was hoping that with my eagerness to learn and the right attitude, I would get more recognition. But no…..I’d always get the shit that no one wants to do. Never mind if no one wants to do, if I can learn something from it, I actually don’t mind. But the fact is that the more shit that is thrown to me, the more my work deviates from my prior designated job scope. *look of defeat with a tad of dejection*
With all that on my mind, I really can’t help but feel the dreaded feeling every Monday since. I didn’t use to feel that way really. In fact, I felt happy with the fact that I was in the line that I always wanted to be and doing things that I feel could go far…until now. I realized that all the promises and inspiring words were nothing but fake! Now that I am bonded, they treat u like nothing! Because they know you are stucked and no where to run! Irony isn’t it? It’s a realistic world isn’t it? *haiz*
Is it really so hard to make a decent living in Singapore and still be happy?
I hate being me right now! Somebody save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*plays Smallville’s theme song…..*
muahahahahahahahahaha…..I’m mad!!!!!!!!!
I hope your Monday is going better than mine!Bummer!
Friday Night
It's sickening to see weekends pass so quickly!
Last Friday night with the gers was fun. X did not turn up as predicted. *sigh*
Nonetheless we had some updates about each other....
I guess all four of us came a long way, in terms of how differently our paths went ,how our futures might differ, and how our thoughts might be different now compared to before, we still have this unspoken understanding between each other that no matter how our lives might change, we will always be there for each other and be best frens!
We had a nice dinner, nice chat and the supposedly "usual" exchange of gifts aswhat C puts it. It seems that for the past few occassions that we met up, we all had some gifts for one another from overseas trip, whether it was for business or leisure.It's funny to see it this way tho...perhaps we should meet more so that we could have more gift exchange? Hee...so I guess we do have some underlining perks when arranging our next meeting? Teehee...
Well, we all had our misgivings about life at some point of time. After dinner we went for a nice "romantic" chat by the Esplanade. I've been hoping to go there with R for quite some time already....somehow it just never happened...as usual.*Sigh*
Anywayz, we started "pouring" out our frustrations about life, work and of course, the never missing ingredient...our boyfriends! Hahaha...Not that all that we discussed are bad...but I guess it gives some relieve to our relationships because there are some things u DON'T tell or say to your boyfriend! So..that's where your gfs come into the picture to provide that relief I guess.
C had alot to say that night, M as usual, forever happy..well..at least that's what we think because she hardly speaks of her pig...only on certain occassions she complains to me, other than that...her answers to him is always "Ok lor, like that lor!"
For X(although she's not around), our first question to her is always, "Are you still with XX or change liao? Update lar!"
Heehee...that's because X has too many flings, I guess her mentality towards love is...the more the choices, the more you'd understand what u seek for a life long partner.
For me....hmm...I'll leave out mine here for now.
We were all pretty tired last night tho, many a times were mode of silence where we enjoyed the breeze, the rain and each other's presence..... It would have been a really romantic experience...except we weren't really each other's only love! Hahahahahaha....
Overall it was nice to meet up with these girls again. Missed them to bits actually!
=D Looking forward to our next outing soon...Hopefully this time round X could join us and update on her status again. Teehee...!
TGIF....Again!
Gloomy Friday. Not exactly a good way to start the weekend. Was so tempted to just stay in bed today…..
This entire week has been busy busy busy.
Luckily for me, I’m having some girly meeting with my gal pals later. Been so long since I last saw them. Miss them so much, the silly old bunch(C, M and X). Teehee..! I’ll be getting my…. errr…not so frequent dose of girl power later! Yippeeee…..!!!!!!!
These bunch of gers have been really great friends since JC. I really missed those times we had as a class. After I left for Aussie, M still tried to keep in touch with me and even send me birthday cards and gifts for my 21st birthday. I never told them that but I teared when I got the messages and the gift. It’s really nice to know that pple still cares for you when u r miles away…
Ever since I went to Aussie, many frens somehow forgotten about me. Never even bothered to write me emails and stuff. Another great guy pal was D, he was another one fren that I will always cherish. It is only in times like this you really find out who your true frens are u noe…It’s never too late to realize that tho! =)
Anyway since I’m back we’ve been trying to meet up more often and start bitching about our boyfriends, work, life and sometimes even each other….Muahahahaha. Just our way of updating and showering our care and concern…Hee…. It’s really nice…Teehee... Lets you just forget the unhappy stuffs for the time being and just be a ger again…Heehee..
Been so long since we met up, because I was flying in and out Singapore and that our schedules have been getting more and more impossible to compromise. So finally, we made it today! Yay…however said, our dear X might still be MIA, her usual stunt, but hopefully she can turn up on the pretext of gifts from Phil. LOL!
Well, I’m really looking forward for a joint of bitching and relaxation, been so busy whole morning till my headache is back again. Sigh…been having headaches one and off so frequently now. I’ve always thot I might have tumour or something…interesting conversation I had with D on this topic:
D says: u recover liao anot...4gt to ask
Me says: ok lar
Me says: but lately keep getting on off headaches..
Me says: damn sianz
D says: too stress ah u
Me says: dunno wat is happening la
Me says: tumour perhaps
D says: ...
D says: dats y i say u muz go c specialsit..
Me says: dun wan
Me says: i juz wanna live n die
Me says: if i need to die den i nd to die..
Me says: but i'd rather not noe now
D says: u wun die lah...
D says: juz dat noe earli n get treatment
Me says: haha
Me says: suffering la
Me says: no pt
D says: tsk tsk
D says: u ah..haiz..
Me says: :D
D says: u bear to leave so many ppl behind meh
Me says: no choice wat
Me says: life sometimes haf v limited choices..
Me says: wld u rather i live n c me suffer?
D says: e ting iz u wun suffer dat much if u seek diagonisis earli
Me says: aiyah..
Me says: dun care la
D says: ...
Me says: heeeSo….moral of the story, I’d prefer to live my life…if I do have a tumour in my head, I’d rather not know and just collapse one day and die. Rather than knowing it and going through shit but still ended up dying…Logical? I don’t care…It’s just me. =p
