Senile
I swear I had lots to blog about just before this page loaded up....
But now...it seems I'm all blank.
I think I'm going senile....
HELP!
Quote of the Day....
Found this quote really meaningful...
Just thot I would share with you....
=)
~We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.~
- Sam Keen, from To Love and Be Loved
Let's find our imperfect person to love....=)
Boohoo...
I was just told by a good fren that he was offered a job at a reputable bank....even before he is graduated...how envious.
And guess what, as a fresh grad, he was offered 45K per annum. Yes..u read me right, 45K per annum. And that does not include bonuses.
How cool is that?*gasp in awe*
I mean...fresh grad...and he hasn't officially graduated yet? He has a great resume tho.Acelerated honours and all that...And not forgetting all the hard work and effort he put in. Great guy...his gf is soooo lucky.=)
Really glad that his future is all set and ready to go!
Sooooo envious and I feel like a loser man...been working for about 1 and a half years already and I'm still struggling to qualify for a credit card...
How pathetic is that...
I'm going to cry now...Bye...
Mono
Awfully quiet today in the office today. A couple of my colleagues are out today for a presentation and discussion today. Some will be out the whole day and the rest, probably come back in the afternoon....
Lately things are happening quite slowly....Not sure it's because I've slowed down my pace or that life really isn't happening right now.
My current project will be going live soon....on 1st Dec. Somehow everyone's been taking it easy. This project is considered one of those "non-hassle" projects and apparantly quite "un-eventful". Considered a good principal to start with for a first project...I do hope everything runs smoothly as planned.
I'm really looking forward to my break in Jan. My leave has finally been approved!YAY!*cheers and claps**runs around in excitement*
Luckily my leave was approved a day prior to the confirmation of a new project next year! Not exactly sure when the project will start, but I'm not ruling out the fact that it might be January. But I'm not gonna care much...my leave is approved and I WILL go for my break before I suffer a mental breakdown. Having projects back to back the whole year round isn't really what I call fun.
Anyway the next project is in TUAS....how dreadful. I have absolutely zip ideas on how to get there...I was told by my cabby uncle that taxi drivers seldom like to drive into TUAS, because that place is so ulu that birds don't wanna lay their nests there...hahaha..
Well I suppose I don't have too much choices, so I shall await until the day comes and see what's the best solutions available. And considering I might have shifted house then...grabbing a cab from my new house seems an impossible task too...hmm...starting to doubt if my parents made the right choice about the new house.But I must admit I am looking forward somehow...althought going home might be a longer journey...Anyway we'll see...=)
~*1 month and 2 weeks to Aussie Land....*~
It's a Small World
Sometimes it really does amaze me that the world is indeed so small…..
The word is, a gd gf fren of mine sent me this sms on Friday nite,
“What a small world. Remember xyz? I just saw her with (my OML)’s fren. They are actually together.”
*Note: I changed some of the names here because I do wish to be seen as infringing other’s privacy.
For those who don’t know, Miss XYZ had a dramatic exit out of my life a couple of years back. For those closer to me, you can probably already guessed who Miss XYZ is. The other heart-breaker…let’s call him Mr X then.
Yes, somehow she has unknowingly crept into my life again.
This incident has happened like 4 to 5 years back. Perhaps I am deemed petty in some ways to remember everything until today…the truth is, I’ve always kept it in a small corner of my memory, never lost but always there.
The truth is, I never really quite understood everything that happened then, it was almost like those drama series on tv…..only it was real and happened to me.
Boy hurts girl, girls cries and discover it’s her best friend that he’s shagging.
Okay, sorry, there wasn’t any shagging bits in my story. Thankfully. (Although I’m not sure if they had any, anyway….hahahaha *shrugs*)
I was very very very hurt then…..Because I was betrayed not by one but by 2 people I loved dearly then. Admittingly, I was a wreck, although I tried to keep a strong outlook. But inside me, I was really shattered!
Anyway I’m going to blog this all in past tense…..I need to remind myself again that it’s all over.
So here’s the story….
Mr X was a nice young, suave chap. I suppose many girls would queue to be his girl. I guess I never thought that sparks would fly between us….well…it did and somehow I felt rather lucky. Yes, I ACTUALLY felt lucky… sheesh….anyway….back to my story….
We had a magical start really. I remember how he got me a silver ring, slipped it on my finger when we were dancing at a school party….it was sooo romantic, so sweet….it would have been a great memory had we last…..
But alas, I guess we were never meant to me. Or perhaps I was never meant to be with a romantic guy…well..my OML is really the opposite! We din even have an anniversary!*humpft* Okay okay…digress abit…
Anyway he was a jerk really. Don’t talk about the breaking of heart and stuffs. But he was never a nice caring bf to me. Through the times we were together, he hardly sends me home. We never really went on dates either, it was usually with the gang or that he will be out with his frens. He seldom asked me along on those occasions….I did felt abit left out at times……
So our relationship was anything but exciting. Perhaps he got bored or that I couldn’t give him what he wanted…..
So here’s when Miss XYZ came into the picture….
Miss XYZ and me were good pals. We did silly things together, shared jokes together, shared tears and laughter together…..I treated her with all sincerity and confided everything to her….
What really broke my heart was when that fateful nite during a school camp……
I was feeling rather miserable and lost so I opened my heart out and confided to her….
Me: I think Mr X is seeing someone else….
Miss XYZ: Oh…no lar..don’t think so much…I don’t think so…
Me: but I can really feel it…just that I don’t know what to do or say….
…………...
……………
Honestly I can’t really remember the entire conversation word for word….but at the end of the day, I cannot forget the fact that she was that other women and yet I actually confided in her. How contradicting and dramatic was that?
She betrayed my trust as a friend and betrayed our friendship. I know now for sure that she did not value our friendship like I thought she did. When she saw my fren the other night, she only asked of Mr X and no mention of me at all…..That was her true self!
And Mr X’s excuse after the scandal was exposed…That we weren’t meant to be together, and he preferred the sadder and quieter me. He felt that when I had problems with my ex-boyfriend, that was the time he was attracted to me. Which is really lame and makes no sense because…honestly…who gives a lame reason like that? He prefers a sad gf? Crap!
It simply showed he did not know me as a person then…..Ironically, in truth, I was more of a introvert then extrovert. He didn’t see that neither did he know that. Interestingly, I put up a crazy front thinking he like the happy me….but I was wrong…so wrong…
Miss XYZ was the crazy sort too, so when I saw them together, I was heartbroken, shattered and totally lost it! I couldn’t comprehend what I saw…I was simply devastated…
And yet within all these mess, I was silly enough to hope for the best between them. I was wrong because Miss XYZ never treated me as a close friend. And Mr X, he was simply a jerk who dumped me perhaps I couldn’t give him what he wanted…that, however is another story…
I would never forsake a friendship in exchange for a man….but I guess our friendship was not strong in the first place. It was only a naïve part of me to think otherwise…..
I think that’s enough emotions for the day….
Here ends my story….for now….
The Wisdom In Me.....not one but two!Yay!
I’m officially old….. My wisdom tooth has finally declared it’s existence by proclaiming a silent war against my sensitive gums, thus causing an infection that is hurting so much I can only chew on one side....
Yes…one side, how pathetic! Already a slow eater, I’m much worse now! Bummed!
So I went to the dentist yesterday, after much deliberation.(I actually don’t enjoy going to the dentist much.)
She was a nice doctor, quite young, but I wished she was a lil gentler on my already tortured-enough-gums when she was checking out the damage. So she revealed to me all the blars of my wisdom tooth…my potential complication because my wisdom tooth on the left had somehow decided to stop growing and thus lay half-hidden, half embedded in my gums still and half exposed. Somehow I felt my tooth was shy about the whole expośe thing, either that, I simply don’t haf enuff wisdom for it to actually grow out of my gum! Wahahaha…lame I know…the pain is rather overwhelming at times….so..forgive me....=)
Anyway, I was told that my upper wisdom tooth will cost me $65 to extract. But for my shy wisdom tooth, it takes between 300 to 480 if there no complications, and between 480 to 600 if there are complications. But all these will have to be further determined after I take an x-ray of my mouth which will cost another 15-20 bucks. And not forgetting all the medication cost etc stuffs after all that.... So it will bring me down to about 800 bucks with worst-cased scenario situations? How sucky is that? All that time and money for 2 supposedly worthless tooth? How wise....And you call that wisdom? Will I be any less smarter if I remove it? No idea... And why do I need to pay so much more for a tooth that's shy? Make any sense?*shrugs*
When I told my mum, she exclaimed “ It’s funny but we never had such problems before. Why do people nowadays have all these problems?”
Her words struck me hard and totally agreed! Why? Why do our ancestors, our great great ancestors, be it the monkeys or dinosaurs, not have this problem? Well, at least it wasn’t a big deal to spend hundred over dollars on it? They either got it off barbarically or simply ignored the whole damn thing and still live their lives through?
And yet, in our times of living and education, with vast technology advancement, we can’t even tolerate an extra tooth?
I’m just blabbering…ignore pls!
Paintball Weekend
Saturday’s team building session was quite a blast to my pleasant surprise…
I was quite skeptical in the beginning because I wasn’t quite sure everyone was going to turn up. But the turnout was good, could have been better, but it was good enough.
Well, the entire day was really packed with activities, whether it was games, brain storming sessions or simply a tea break for everyone to loosen up and mingle….
Paintball was scheduled after lunch. Bad timing, but I guess there was no other better slots. After lunch is always the dreamy, drowsy time for everyone. So probably the paintball can perk up all up! We were all pretty excited about it and awaited patiently for our new team list to be formed after lunch.
We were all divided into 6 teams, 3 teams in group A and 3 teams in group B. Surprisingly, all the team leaders were females. I was the assigned team leader for Team 6. It wasn’t an easy task because I had 3 guys in my team. And one of them is also another of tanned skin origin like the big bully in my office…..(kua kua…)
Anyway, once we grouped ourselves together, we went through a precaution lecture to what are the potential dangers, risks and game play necessary before the action.
There were 2 mission involved:
1. To knock down 2 opposing targets
2. Once the targets are down, we are to bring a box back into home base.
Once the box is back into home base, it’s one point for your team. There will be 2 sub games for 2 competing teams. Because we have 3 teams in each group, we have to play 3 games each, a total of six games to decide who goes to the semi finals. The winning team from each group will then play in the finals to earn the champion team title!
So, one game lasts around 5 to 10 mins or so, depending on your efficiency in accomplishing the 2 missions.
My team lasted till the semi-finals before my dear tan colored fren decided to take things into his own hands and go for the box without ensuring that the targets were down. So instead of winning the game, we lost disgracefully,we were disqualified!!!!! And at semi-finals! wth man….haizz…but I was too tired to start blaming him. It was after a good night’s rest that the thoughts of a unjustified lost finally seep into my rested brain….It was then that I realized that he was listening to my instructions…Sigh…anyway we lost, thou it was an unjustified lost, well it was a learning experience and a fun one.
Other then suffering from an unglorified lost, I suffered 3 bruises, several cuts, one really battered bruise that bled and whole body ache after the whole team building session….shagged out I tell ya…But it was a whole lot of fun anywayz….=)
Loss of Words...
Are there times where are so desperately trying to explain yourself to a person but they simply can't understand u?
What makes it worse is that the person whom u’re trying to convince place a big part in your life…
Communication breakdown? Perhaps....Or it could a sign of something more serious....
It sucks!
These are times u just feel like give up and say no more.....
*loss of words*
Dilemma
Is it any surprise that I’m in a dilemma again? I am a typical Libran afterall…..
Librans simply find it hard to make a decision, always trying to weigh the pros and cons so much so that they find it almost impossible to decide which is beta/best? It’s just tooooo hard. But once we have made up their minds….it’s hard for us to change our minds otherwise, unless there is a super duper quantifiable reason behind it.
Anyway my dilemma is….
To go to Perth or to Brissie.for my first entry stamp for my PR status.
Okay, I spent 3 and a half years in Brissie for my studies. Kinda bored of the place, however so, there are wonderful memories there. And deep in my heart, I do miss that place and the little things I can do there since I’m quite familiar with that place. Also, been wanting to meet my gd fren for quite awhile already. She’s still there doing her PHD and all and she’s been hoping that I can finally meet her beau from Germany. Probably to “grill” him and give him the nod or thumbs up I think…Hahaha…oh wells..not that it really matters anyway. So, she’s been asking me if I’m coming over and such and even offered her place for shelter. Theoretically speaking, the air tickets might cost more, but with abit of accommodation $$ saved, it’s pretty much the same going to Perth.
The whole trip to Aussie is actually on a budget, simply because it wasn’t exactly planned. It was a trip I simply had to make to validate my PR status. So Perth was initially planned because the air tics was the cheapest with Valuair and stuffs…but my plans were thwart when the schedules for my current project was finalized and that Valuair suddenly decided to leave Perth out of their flight schedules. So, taking leave during the project was out of the question, cheap air tickets were out of the window too! Thus the idea had to be shelved till further notice. And because I only have till March to enter Aussie, Jan is my best bet now. Rumours has it that another project might be coming soon at the beginning of the year….so I have to act fast. I’ve already applied for my leave…awaiting approval. And until then, I still have time to decide where I should go.
I’ve been to Perth last year actually, that’s why the dilemma…Sigh…To go or not to go…That’s the question!
Can someone help me from the pool of dilemma?
Feeling Black?
Feeling PMSey today…
Received an email this morning from a certain “dark-coloured” colleague whom I bitched about in my blog previously….
The email totally spoiled my day. Perhaps somewhere in me I feel rather prejudiced after he made some really personal remarks about me. So till today, the sight of him irks me. So much so that I feel as if I’m not me. Because typically, I’m normally more accepting towards people…..Somehow, he managed to break this trend of mine.
Anyway, I’m not really gonna elaborate what he did, just in case I can’t control myself and get labeled as some racist blogger…hurhurhur…
Not that I am a racist or anything of the sort because of a simple fact that he is not the only “dark-coloured” colleague that I am working with. All my fellow colleagues are mostly from outside Singapore anyway, and because he is the only one who has officially pissed me off, I find it hard to treat him outside of my personal “irk-ful” circle. He is officially the first and hopefully…. the only person that will be in the circle….hurhurhur….
A weekend wasted!
Weekend was crap!
Spent the whole Saturday trying to find this top that caught my eye on Friday. They had no more new piece for S size and I was contemplating to buy it because I always have trouble getting my sizes. But the top was quite over-stretched, so I thought even if I bought it, it probably wouldn’t last very long, so I thought it might be a waste of money anyway. So I gritted my teeth and decided to forgo it and perhaps try my luck at some other branches. What was infuriating was that they were supposedly a “stand-alone” outlet, meaning they no connection or whatsoever with the other outlets and thus they were not able to locate sizes at all. Bummer!
And so I decided that I shall locate the other outlets and perhaps try my luck there…..
Anywayz, it was really disappointing! Went to Wisma Atria’s Future State, there was this huge clearance sale going on…..and thus being typical Singaporeans everywhere…the small little outlet space was swarmed with ladies of all ages, simply grabbing and tugging everything like no tomorrow. I didn’t join in the “tug of war” with the ladies, it was crazy!
However I should have known to ask the sales assistants there for help or perhaps find out the locations of the other outlets. Well, I thought I did my homework, but apparently, it wasn’t enough. Most of the other branches that I tried to locate were all closed down. How depressing was that. So at the end of the day, I didn’t buy anything! How sad…absolutely wasted my entire day, my entire trip and totally trashed my mood! And poor OML had to tag along…poor him…well at least we caught a movie and had a nice dinner…
Remind me again that if I were to undertake such excursions the next time, never:
1) assume you have done your homework
2) take any chances, always ask when in doubt
3) try any of the above again!
So…basically that was my weekend. Trashed! Bummer!
I'm upset...
With something I can't describe
With something I cannot explain
I'm upset
Because there is no remedy
Even if there is
You will never know
Because you never really understood
Perhaps,perhaps it was never meant to be
Never destined to be.....
Staggered Holidays
My staggered holidays were grim…..not that anything depressing or traumatizing happened, but somehow I felt that the staggered holidays din make me any happier?Okay…I was happy that somehow I got a break since like….ages! It’s been quite awhile since the last public holiday. But I just felt that I could have done more with the 2 holidays so close…like go for a holiday or something of the sort like everyone else…instead, I was resigned to my job and the undergoing project. Can’t take leave during this period….*sigh*
I was contemplating to fake an MC today….but decided against it…like any other occasions when the thoughts creeps through my head in the morning.
It was difficult for me to get out of bed today, because for one, it was raining…such a nice time to sleep in. Two, had a 2hr badminton with my OML and frens yesterday. For someone who hardly works out so much in a day, it took a toll on me this morning. Somehow my ass and legs were aching….the MC thought sounded sooooo tempting really…really…it was…
Anyways, I’m meeting the gers for abit of gathering/update/gossip today. It will be dinner and probably heading to a nice live band pub after that one of them offered to intro us. Kinda looking forward, although I’m worried if I could hold through the nite…shall see how things go tonite.
My staggered holidays have been overall quite disappointing, purely because I didn’t think I did much really. Even though I was happy for the light breaks in between, somehow I was hoping for more….like more constructive things to be done? *shrugs* Don’t ask me things like what…I just felt so! *grins*
