K for Komplexity...

Finding Solace....

It’s actually been awhile since I felt like writing anything….I guess it’s been a roller coaster ride for me with a lot of things that’s been flooding my life right now.

For some reasons, my mood hasn’t been rather optimistic lately.
Honestly, it could be my hormones making fun of me or it’s simply due to a “series of unfortunate events” in my life now. (ps:pun not intended here, I haven’t seen the show either =p so…=p )

Anyways, I’m just gonna spill the beans today and perhaps find solace here…

The truth is, I have doubts in my life right now. I’m turning 24 this year but I haven’t exactly have a career yet...though I hope it will bring me somewhere in future…I can’t help but feeling uncertain about my future.
I know that nobody ever can predict their future nor dictate what is to happen, but I believe somehow or rather, WE can always make a difference somehow. The truth is, I am a person who is insecure all the time. This is perhaps one of my greatest flaw….
But honestly, how many person out there, can so incredibly be so positive and optimistic ALLLLL the time and heeds all the greatest advice in the world and just be happy and contented.
I believe that deep down inside each and every one of us knows all the “model answers” as to how we should all live our lives. But do we always follow these “model answers”?
As much as I hate to break the truth…reality is that we don’t! That is exactly why we are humans. We make mistakes, we regret and we wallow in self pity and self deception. No matter how perfect we imagined life to be, it just can’t be that perfect I suppose.
Believe me when I say all these…. I am not immersing myself in self pity nor am I being sarcastic to life. I’m really just being realistic, looking at the world the way it is as a third person…Almost like a soul-leaving experience…it is rather enlightening to an extend.
Now going back to uncertainties in life, there’s always the relationship question, “Have u found THE ONE yet?” As much as I would like to answer this question, I found that I actually have no answer to this question….First of all, how do you define THE ONE? Is it something you can feel, touch, smell or is it something more? I believe we have all at a stage of our lives, tried to search high and low for THE ONE, but seriously, how often have we come to a conclusion that THE ONE is just a myth and doesn’t exist? You may be so in love on cloud nine for awhile…but when things get rough, you bid farewell. Then do you still look back and say..”Hey, I think he/she was THE ONE…but….” But it is all too late because it may be too late to turn back now….
But on the contrary, if you are with someone but you are unsure, do you think the grass is greener on the other side? Do you long to be free again and pursue the endless search for THE ONE again? Unfortunately I do not have the answer to this either….

In conclusion, I think life is really about taking risks, just the way you bet on BIG SMALL on the gamble table. You can never predict for sure how your life would turn out…in fact the way I see it…you have only four choices to it, you either bet, dun bet, bet big or bet small.

Bottom line…Life is a gamble…What do you think?

Blabbered by KaiRiNu at 4:10 PM