K for Komplexity...

Judgement Day?

Today I had some revelations while I was on a train. Amusingly, it was triggered by this guy, in his late thirties I would say, who was staring at me in a way that I felt as if I was being "judged". And the reason being...I thought it was because I got myself a seat and he didn't...Hahaha..yes yes..you may laff and probably even say I'm being paranoid, but it's true..He's most probably thinking..."That's should have been my seat and not hers..Damn..why am I not as kiasu as her?I should be faster next time..."

Well at least that's what I thought he was probably thinking looking at me like that even thou he knew I caught him looking at me. Weird huh? Well, because of that it keep me thinking...

I did not enjoying his "judging look" on me.What was it like to be judged in this sense? Was it fair that he thought I dun deserve the seat as much as he did? Or was I being a typical kiasu singaporean in his eyes? Perhaps I was just another commuter who got in his way of a comfortable ride on a working Friday.

Ironically, when I first came back to Singapore, I was being critical about this "typical singaporeans" aura that was virtually all around. I felt that Singaporeans were being very uncaring, very kiasu, whether was it giving up a seat to someone who needs more than yourself or was it giving way to the commuters that are coming out of the train. I was kinda disgusted in a way because I saw the "ugly" side of this when I saw everyday working class people ignoring the needs of a pitiful old lady, who obviously needed the seat more that anyone who was sitting down just to catch the day's eye shut.Standing at a third person's perspective, I was doing the exact same thing that the guy on the train did to me. I was judging these people....

Ironically after becoming one of these everyday working class people, I realised the so called "importance" of a day's wide shut. After having to wake up six plus in the morning and going back home after a long and tiring day, a next best alternative to seeking solace of a "silent" moment was to get a gd eye shut, no matter how short it will be....

Well...I should realised that now, I too, belong to the same category of uncaring, kiasu singaporeans that we all like to brand one another...

Nobody likes to be judged, or at least I don't...but I guess like all other human beings...we all tend to do the opposite the moment we are at a third person's perspective..Perhaps we should all learn to be more accomodating and understanding to each fellow mankind? Why can't we all be nice to each other and prevail the idea that LOVE CONQUERS ALL? I guess this question can never be answered because this will never happen? Hahaha...Does this mean we all have to go through "Judgement Day"? Perhaps...Perhaps...

ps:I'm having a headache as I'm writing me..forgive me if you think this is all crap...Haa..I need my rest..=P

Blabbered by KaiRiNu at 1:34 PM